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Post by Jasper Hale on Aug 14, 2008 10:11:47 GMT -5
Jasper Hale had stood stock still in front of one of the large windows in the back of the Cullen house merely staring out into the woods beyond the property line of the house. The sun hadn’t even risen yet but it was only moments away or as much sun as the over casted Fork sky would allow for. The fading darkness on the horizon line seemed to struggle with the coming day for a moment and Jasper merely stood there staring out at it an un-noticed by stander.
He was anxious about something and it drove him insane cause he couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was. It was times like this when he wished his gift worked in the reverse order. The house was relatively calm and silent for the moment he could only guess that Edward was out watching Bella in the last fleeting moments and he would avert his mind from thinking of what Rosalie and Emmett where doing and Alice was flittering about doing one thing or the other but he couldn’t seem to focus on anything particular to focus on and it was maddening.
Finally resigning himself to the fact that nothing in the house was going to give him the calm he needed he slipped out of the house and decided to venture into the woods for only a brief spell; just to clear his head. He hadn’t been in the dense forest for more then 5 minutes when he sensed it. It was immediate and overpowering as soon as the scent washed over him.
It was the smell of blood…freshly spilled blood and his eyes narrowed darkly as his focus snapped through out the forest gaining the pin point of where exactly it was coming from. The scent of human blood was intoxicating to Jasper more so then even Alice could possibly understand. As much as he loathed it for what it did to him the animal inside of him craved it to no avail.
He was through the forest before he had even thought about moving his body coming to a sudden stop as the tress gave way around him and he stared down the small valley where a car lay crumpled against a tree. Glass, metal…and blood was spilled all along the road way and Jasper stood merely staring the hunger tearing through him as he was engulfed in the persons scent and fears and their impending death.
Jasper felt as though he was being pulled in so many directions he could very well snap in half if he couldn’t latch on to one. His eyes scanned the area around the tree where the car was slammed into and not a soul was about, not a soul was there save for him. His feet soundlessly moved from the edge of the forest and he was beside the car in an instant. He could see the woman s stranger obviously by her out of state tags pinned inside of the car the drivers door hanging open and several large pieces of wood impaling her body against the seat. Her blood was everywhere…her blood was intoxicating.
He could do it…she was dying anyways he could feel it…it would be like saving her from any further pain and suffering. He wasn’t the one who would kill her the car crash was going to he was just helping her along.
He could feel himself shudder as the contradicting thoughts fought through his mind but no matter the thought the thick scent of blood was all around him and there was no getting away from it but he couldn’t leave now if he wanted to. The woman’s eyes were shut and as Jasper knelt down beside the drivers side to look in at her he could feel the animal inside of him all but screaming for her blood. To anyone else she would appear dead but he knew better he could feel her erratic heart beat still pumping her blood through her veins and it was all compiled into one addiction that Jasper couldn’t resist.
He pulled the broken drivers side door from away from the car with little hardship as his black eyes focused solely on the woman’s blood stained neck. He could feel her crimson blood already seeping into the fabric of the jeans he wore just by the sheer amount of blood on the road and the sensation of it only drove him further down the dark road in his mind.
He lunged towards the woman’s neck almost able to taste the warm copper of her blood when without warning her eyes snapped open and latched on to his stopping him cold. He jerked away from the woman as her eyes pleaded with him and her body began to shake and tremble as he slammed into the pavement his own form shaking as he watched the woman sputter and groan a scream tearing from her lips as blood poured from her mouth splattering against the front of Jasper’s shirt until she finally grew still…dead.
Jasper’s eyes never left the form of the dead woman in front of him her scream still echoing through the air around him as he visible shook from the knowledge of what he almost did to the woman even if she had been on her death bed. His eyes stared down at himself for a moment covered in her blood and if it was possible he would have thought he would have been sick as his eyes found the half opened dead eyes of the girl in front of him. He couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything; he merely sat there alone on the cold road the woman’s dead eyes piercing through him.
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Post by Alice Cullen on Aug 14, 2008 11:11:44 GMT -5
Whatever happened to the nice family time Carlisle used to have for the Cullen Clan? Once again it seemed everyone had wandered off to do something and Alice found herself reading a book in Jasper and her room.
Alice was pretty sure Jasper had gotten bored and wandered off downstairs to do something. Emmett and Rosalie were in there room and she was pretty sure Esme was out and Carlisle was at the hospital. Edward of course was off with Bella per normal. Oh how she adored Bella! Putting her book down she smiled to herself.
Everyone was so happy that Edward had finally found someone. Alice was glad that they'd been able to convince him that Bella was safer with him around. He'd been spouting some nonsense about moving to keep her safe but Alice knew that Edward was the only thing that would keep her wonderful klutzy friend safe.
Glancing out the window Alice saw Jasper wandering towards the woods. She placed her book down and walked over to the window, pulling the curtain back slightly and watched as he walked away from the house. Sweet Jasper. She tilted her head slightly. What on earth was he up to she wandered.
Suddenly her eyes glazed over.
Jasper continued to wander through the forest looking rather bored. Alice watched as he continued walking when suddenly his attention snapped. She frowned then froze.
It was the smell of blood…freshly spilled blood and his eyes narrowed darkly as his focus snapped through out the forest gaining the pin point of where exactly it was coming from. The scent of human blood was intoxicating to Jasper more so then even Alice could possibly understand.
He was through the forest before she knew it and they were looking at where a car lay crumpled against a tree. Glass, metal…and blood was spilled all along the road way and Jasper stood merely staring the hunger tearing through him as he was engulfed in the person's scent and fears and their probable impending death.
Jasper felt as though he was being pulled in so many directions he could very well snap in half if he couldn’t latch on to one. His eyes scanned the area around the tree where the car was slammed into and not a soul was about, not a soul was there save for him. His feet soundlessly moved from the edge of the forest and he was beside the car in an instant. He could see the woman s stranger obviously by her out of state tags pinned inside of the car the drivers door hanging open and several large pieces of wood impaling her body against the seat. Her blood was everywhere…her blood was intoxicating. Alice's throat was starting to get dry and itchy and it was only a vision.
She watched as Jasper shuddered. The woman’s eyes were shut and Jasper knelt down beside the drivers side to look in at her. He pulled the broken drivers side door from away from the car with little hardship as his black eyes focused solely on the woman’s blood stained neck. Alice watched in horror as he looked at the woman his eyes going dark with hunger.
He lunged towards the woman’s neck.
"Jasper." There was a ripping sound and Alice blinked, a thin veil like material falling down and lightly blanketing her head. Pulling it off, she realized she'd ripped the curtains. But she'd worry about that later.
The images of Jasper and the dying woman came into her head and Alice tensed up quickly flinging the window open and lightly leaping to the ground. Not a moment after landing she ran for the woods. A quick look at her surroundings and Alice took a deep breathe, trying to figure out where exactly her lover had gone.
The coppery scent drifted towards her and her eyes widened slightly before taking off in the direction of the blood. "Please hold on Jazz," she murmured while running. Time seemed to slow as trees passed by as blurs. The forest finally stopped and Alice hurried down the valley towards the crash.
He lunged towards the woman’s neck when without warning the woman's eyes snapped open and latched on to his stopping him cold. He jerked away from the woman and her body began to shake and tremble as he slammed into the pavement his own form shaking as he watched the woman sputter and groan a scream tearing from her lips as blood poured from her mouth splattering against the front of Jasper’s shirt until she finally grew still…dead.
Alice stopped running and froze. Not even a moment later a scream tore through the air causing Alice to be off again at high speed.
"Jasper!"
She was at his side after another moment and quickly wrapped her arms around him, pulling his head to rest on her. He was still shaking and she couldn't help but feel a bit relieved that he was alright..and that he hadn't gone through with it. "Oh Jasper," she murmured, resting a hand on his head.
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Post by Jasper Hale on Aug 14, 2008 11:37:53 GMT -5
Jasper stared back into the woman’s dead eyes for what felt like an eternity. The without reason or warning Alice was there as he could always hope she would be. He flinched just the same as she pulled him against her his body sagging against her body and not moving from her embrace but his eyes never leaving those of the woman who lay dead in the car…the woman he had been a second away from killing even if she was going to die just the same.
“I didn’t kill her…she…I…,” Jasper had no idea what to say his voice barely audible as he finally found some strength in which to pull himself slightly from Alice’s grasp his body still trembling and his eyes un-moving. She would think he had killed her, anyone would. He was covered in her blood the same blood which moments ago had been so intoxicating was now the scent of death.
He couldn’t even move or begin to think of what to do but the woman’s scream still ripped through his mind and he couldn’t escape what he had almost done. He had been so close to her he could taste her blood on his lips and he had all but done it. He would have murdered her in that instance and it was that which made him know he hadn’t changed.
He would always be the same monster he had been and as each and every day went by he couldn’t help but feel as if he was fighting a losing battle. He continued on for Alice and for the others but he was terrified that he would snap and lose it all; lose them all.
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Post by Alice Cullen on Aug 14, 2008 11:47:18 GMT -5
Alice allowed Jasper to pull back a bit and moved her hands to his shoulder lightly, concern flooding her face as he continued to shake.
“I didn’t kill her…she…I…”
She reached a hand up to brush some hair out of his face before cupping his cheeks. "I know love...I saw." Alice ran a thumb over his jaw line before pulling back slightly and moving towards the woman. Her fingers found the woman's eyelids and she moved them down so the dead woman wasn't staring anymore. "Requiescat in pace," she murmured before turning away and looking at Jasper again.
If it was possible to look pale as a vampire he certainly did and it didn't help that his shaken emotions felt like they were leaking to her. "Jasper?"
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Post by Jasper Hale on Aug 14, 2008 12:12:05 GMT -5
Jasper's eyes finally pulled away from the woman and focused on Alice as her thumb gently ran across his face the sensation of her there offering some comfort but not enough to dull what he had done or what he had almost done. He watched in silence as Alice made her way to the woman's body closing the eyes which would seem to haunt his mind for days to come.
He still stared at her even with her eyes closed he could see the light flicker from her eyes and he could hear her ear piercing scream of pure terror…terror that he had caused. In the final moments of her life he had terrified the woman. A normal person, a kind person would have comforted her tried to help but he wasn't normal…he had contemplated killing her quickly for his own gain.
"I was going to kill her," he whispered pushing himself up from the ground staring at Alice for a moment and then quickly looking away his eyes focusing on the woman's blood which stained his clothing and his own pale skin.
"I could have helped her...I could have gotten help but I was going to kill her...I was going to bite her Alice," Jasper said his vocie a mixture between a sob and intense anger at himself for being so weak.
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Post by Alice Cullen on Aug 14, 2008 13:21:24 GMT -5
From where Alice crouched next to the now deceased woman she turned to look at Jasper as he stood up. His gaze drifted away from the body finally.
"I could have helped her...I could have gotten help but I was going to kill her...I was going to bite her Alice," Jasper said his voice almost like a cross between a croak and roar of anger. Alice pulled in a sharp intake of breathe through her nose and straightened slightly. "But you didn't," she said softly.
Though the need to breathe wasn't needed anymore Alice tried to even her breaths and stood up, watching him carefully. "You didn't bite her and you didn't kill her. She was practically dead by the time you reached her. And there is....there is so. much. blood," she said, pausing after each word trying to get it out. "It's enough to drive anyone mad Jazz."
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Post by Jasper Hale on Aug 14, 2008 13:32:36 GMT -5
“Carlisle would have helped her…you would have helped her...any of you would have helped her,” Jasper said shaking his head mournfully as he turned away from the car, the body, and from Alice. He couldn’t look at her not then. He didn’t know how she did it how time and time again she was willing to just forgive and find the positive in any situation and make it fine.
He didn’t deserve it…he didn’t deserve her. He closed his eyes for a moment knowing that Alice had to have been feeling the emotions which tore through him and he focused on sending waves of calmness to her at least so she wouldn’t have to suffer along with him.
“I terrified her Alice…” it wasn’t as if he had never killed before and he had heard plenty of screams of the dying but her face the broken anguish coupled with the terror had killed him along with her.
“She saw what I truly am,” he said a sense of resignation in his voice. These games had to stop he couldn’t continue to do this to himself or to Alice it wasn’t fair to her to hold out hope for him when he was a monster.
“If she hadn’t have opened her eyes I would have torn into her Alice…I would have murdered a dying woman,” he hissed his voice laden with an intense amount of anger as he still stood his eyes boring into the horizon and his back to Alice.
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Post by Alice Cullen on Aug 14, 2008 14:04:33 GMT -5
Alice wrung her hands in agitation as Jasper turned away from her and felt his emotions start to wash over her before he covered it up by sending her some calm peaceful feelings to over-ride the guilt. Rubbing her hands together slightly for something to do she watching him, moving a hand up to wipe her lip.
Sure he had terrified the woman. She'd been dying and lost a lot of blood. Alice was pretty sure that practically anything would be scaring her with that much blood loss. But she did understand what he was saying.
She cringed slightly. What he truly was? He wasn't a killer. Not anymore. Alice then felt anger flaring up inside. Maria. That bitch. If she ever met the woman she'd probably try and kill her. It was all Maria's fault that Jasper had all the scars and memories and now more were being added because he was having so much difficulty switching to a new diet. All because she'd taught him to basically tear anything apart without a second thought.
"Jazz..." she started but was cut off when he started to speak again.
Alice frowned and crossed her arms in front of herself as if to keep herself warm from an imaginary breeze. "Yea....but you didn't." Braving it, she took a few steps closer before hesitantly resting a hand on his shoulder. "And that's what counts. What you might have done, what you could have done, what you thought about doing.
She moved to stand in front of him and her brows creased into a frown as she looked up at him. "Those. do. not. count. Do you hear me?"
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Post by Jasper Hale on Aug 14, 2008 14:37:09 GMT -5
Jasper flinched involuntarily his eyes narrowing as he felt Alice’s hand upon his shoulder. She let him off the hook far too easily and the moment she began to speak the moment his eyes locked with hers his resolve would eventual shatter and he would slip right back to where he had been.
“Only because she died before I got to her,” Jasper whispered shaking his head slightly as the thought of it all now sickened him when moments before he had been enraptured in it.
Jasper looked down at Alice as she stood before him. He could so easily lose himself in her eyes and in the encompassing love they felt for each other but it didn’t make everything go away it didn’t fix what he was what he was capable of.
“One of these days you’re going to stop forgiving me,” Jasper whispered his eyes searching hers.
“Then what am I going to do?” he asked his voice sounding so distant and detached he barely recognized it himself. He didn’t deserve her love yet she gave it to him time and time again but he feared it would end that over the years and the centuries she would grow tired of it and he would be on his own once more and he didn’t know what would happen then.
He reached out a hand to brush against her face but pulled his hand away from her as the sight of the crimson blood splatters upon his pale skin screamed back at him.
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Post by Alice Cullen on Aug 14, 2008 14:54:42 GMT -5
"I'll always forgive you Jass," she said, not breaking eye contact. "Even if it's for something that you don't need to be forgiven for." Her eyes held a bit of a challenge for the last comment. She smiled slightly however when Jasper started to reach for her face and confusion flooded her for a moment as he pulled back.
Was he angry at her for saying what she'd said? Before she said anything however she followed his gaze to his hands and relaxed a bit. Placing one of her small hands on his she took it and tugged lightly, entwining their fingers.
Alice pulled his hand to her face and kissed his knuckles, her eyes never leaving his. "Come on...let's go get you cleaned up."
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Post by Jasper Hale on Aug 14, 2008 15:22:02 GMT -5
Jasper stared back at Alice in silence he didn't deserve her but in the same respect he couldn't live without her. it was what forced him to be better to live the way the rest of the family did. Even if it drove him insane she needed him to do it and he needed to do it as well he needed to grow from what he had been for some many years; what Maria had made him.
But he cringed to think what could happen if one day he lost it entirely and stumbeled back down that road he wouldn't know where to begin if he choose to do the unthinkable. He didn't know what Alice would od if one of these times the urge got the better of him and he took a life like he had done so many times before.
"I have far too many sins to ever run out of needin forgiveness," Jasper whispered his eyes still ltached on to Alice the world around them fading away. He looked at her longingly as her lips touched against his skin and as her words crossed his face worry quickly clouded his features.
he couldn't go back to the house looking as he did any of the others would surely think he had massacred a good handful of people.
"I can't go back there like this Alice they'll think...they'll think what they should," he said easing her hand out of his.
"Shouldn't we do somethin about her...call someone or...something," Jasper whispered turning to the woman in the car but stopping himself as he didn't want to see her face again cause that would only bring about the sound of her scream and the look in her eyes.
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Post by Alice Cullen on Aug 14, 2008 15:32:14 GMT -5
A small disappointed frown graced her features as he insisted on not going home in his current attire. Sighing, Alice looked away for a moment and her eyes glazed slightly.
Blinking she shrugged. "They wouldn't say anything about it. Carlisle would probably ask you what happened when he gets home to make sure you're alright."
Alice turned to look at the crushed car and fallen human in the seat, her face softening as she pulled her phone out to call and report the accident. As she waited for the phone to call the number she glanced at Jasper. "Do you want me to dash home and grab you some clean clothes. I can be there and back before the police and ambulance show up."
Hearing a voice she turned her attention back to the phone. "Hi, yes. I'd like to report a car accident." Out of the corner of her eye Alice saw Jasper shake his head to going to get clothes. Giving a small nod to say she understood she turned her attention back to the voice in the phone or the emergency dispatcher and continued to murmur where the accident had taken place and that there was one deceased and assured the person she'd 'stay' at the scene before hanging up and looking at Jasper.
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Post by Jasper Hale on Aug 14, 2008 15:53:59 GMT -5
“I’m fine,” Jasper whispered his voice almost a growl even though Alice hadn’t been the one to ask it just the thought of what was to come about the entire situation still lighting his rather agitated fuse since the hunger he had felt to begin with was still there even if it sickened him.
Jasper shook his head slightly as Alice mentioned leaving to go and get clothes and then come back but he didn’t want to be left alone with the woman’s body. He inhaled a deep breath even though it wasn’t necessary it helped to calm him which was the goal before he drove both himself and Alice crazy with all of the emotions careening through him.
He hadn’t even known what had called him out of the house in the first place it was as if he was subconsciously trying to destroy himself by seeking these sort of situations out. He hated the feel of the woman’s blood drying to his clothes and sticking to his skin and he hated it even more that even though the scent was diminished since she was deceased it still drove him with hunger his eyes still very much black instead of resuming there color.
“She deserved to be found,” he whispered as Alice shut her phone after alerting the police of the accident.
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Post by Alice Cullen on Aug 14, 2008 17:34:58 GMT -5
After hanging up with the dispatcher Alice slid her phone into her back pocket before glancing at the wreck and shaking her head slightly. It was always so sad when an innocent died in an accident like this and Alice couldn't help but wonder if she'd had any family. She glanced at the out of state license plates before turning and looking at Jasper.
The look on Jasper's face was enough to make Alice want to reach out and comfort him. He looked so crushed. Taking an un-needed breathe she walked over to him. "We'll talk about it when we get back home," she said, holding out a hand for him to take.
"Let's go sit on the curb while we wait." If she was right, they wouldn't have the dead smell blowing their way there. She gave him a small reassuring smile.
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Post by Jasper Hale on Aug 14, 2008 21:25:59 GMT -5
Jasper looked down at Alice's extended hand and after a second hesitation he grasped her hand in his immediately comforted by being so close to her even if it didn't completely block out the chills that the event which had just happened brought through him.
"Ok," he whispered his vocie still very distant. He didn't want to stay there drenched in the girls blood but then again he didn't want them to just leave her there and he didn't want to go back to the house his clothes stained with the blood of someone else. He shook his head slightly trying to shake off the thoughts as he slwoly made his way over to the curb where Alice had gestured to and sat down upon it hanging his head for a moment and holding it in his hands as he tried to get a grip on everything.
He tried to continue the facade at least emotionally of calmness so that Alice would be calm and not have to deal with the hell he was struggeling through but that was exhausting in itself.
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