Slightly Different ((Private))

[Edward Cullen]

The sun was shining brightly on Forks. After all, it was summer, and the little town deserved some sun after all the cold nights and cloudy days, right? Most of the people in Forks should be happy, they would finally get to go to the beach and get a little sun tanned. However, if you were a vampire, things were slightly different. Edward had missed school because of the bright Summer sun, and, as usual, was sitting by a tree on his favorite meadow.

Edward personally didn't like the Summer very much. He used to, when his family were the only 'living' beings he ever talked to. But now that he had met Bella, every minute he spent away from her was just too long.

He wasn't feeling bored, however. He never did, at least while he was on this pretty meadow. But Edward wasn't feeling entirely happy either. Things seemed to be more exciting when there was someone around. Now that he had met Bella and knew what was like to be around someone you really loved, Edward started to feel uncomfortable when he was alone. He liked being by himself on the past, but things were slightly different now.

Edward looked at his hand, glistening under the bright sun. Everything was slightly different now, and he knew the reason too well. Suddenly, Edward looked around when he heard the sound of someone coming.

[Jasper Hale]

The Cullen family had taken the day “off” from school that day not necessarily by choice just by the fact that it was entirely too bright outside and they all knew what would occur if they just saw fit to go out and about in that sort of weather so Jasper had spent a good portion of the day shifting through some books he had gathered up in Alice and his room but after awhile that had grown rather tedious and he needed something different to occupy his time.

His eyes had fallen upon the window where the sun was shinning brightly through and jasper decided maybe a bit of sun and air would do some good as far as clearing his head especially since it was still very much plagued by the incident which had happened by the side of the road the day before. He had no real destination as he set out just time away with his thoughts and his worries which he was sure Alice wouldn’t approve of but it was time he needed he had to sort things out for himself one way or the other.

He had made his way just about to the Meadows edge before he even realized it it was the feelings of nearby emotions which caught his attention immediately and as he neared he realized Edward was alone at the meadow with his thoughts and the sun as well.

Edward had an extreme variety of emotions coursing through him at the moment and Jasper could barely pin point one before he just focused on allowing some vibes of calmness and peace to travel to his brother who could obviously use it.

“Hey Edward,” Jasper said making his way through the rest of the trees and coming fully into the meadow the sun shining and everything seeming so much at peace Jasper couldn’t help but feel calm himself even if his mind kept trying to hark back to the dead woman in the car.

[Edward Cullen]

Edward suddenly started to feel calmer and calmer. At first, he didn't know why he was starting to feel better this fast. But as soon as he heard Jasper's voice, he knew what was going on. Jasper was, indeed, a pretty good person to have around. Not just because he was really easygoing and fun to talk with, but also because he actually could make you feel better, no matter what. There are lots of people who could make you feel happier when they are around, but the thing with Jasper was different. It was his special talent. A very good one, by the way.

"Hello, Jasper", Edward greeted his brother. At first, he didn't really know what else to say. Edward could hear Jasper's thoughts as he tried to keep them away from the woman that died inside her car. Edward didn't know if that would be a good subject to talk about, since it seemed to have bothered Jasper so much. So, he decided to talk about things that would make him feel better. "So... How's things with Alice?", he asked.

[Jasper Hale]

Once Jasper had made his way over to Edward he took a seat next to the tree that his brother had found himself against.

"You may want to try one emotion and stick with it there Eward," Jasper said with a slight smile as he shifted himself slightly against the tree and stared out to the meadow around them. Days like these were nice and peaceful even if it meant they had to all but hide themselves from the world it was almsot worth it.

He looked at Edward curiously for a moment as he seemed to pick one of the most random things to discuss at the current moment but then again Jasper had to remember that out of any of them Edward always knew exactly what was going on with you even if you didn't say it.

"There good...not that I really deserve it but she never seems to tire of me so I suppose I need to just count myself lucky and not focus on the day where her forgiveness will run out," Jasper said his eyes focused upon his hand for a moment as the sunlight caused his skin to sparkle under it rays.

[Edward Cullen]

"You may want to try one emotion and stick with it there Edward"

Edward smiled slightly at Jasper's suggestion. "Yeah, I suppose", he agreed. Indeed, he had the tendency to feel too many things at one time, and he should try harder to separate things. But it didn't really matter now, since the only thing he was feeling on that moment was the calmness from Jasper, who kept lingering inside of him.

Edward rolled his eyes as Jasper said he didn't deserve Alice. "You should stop thinking about it that way", Edward said, using the same tone he used with Bella when she started to think the same way. "Alice married you for a reason. And she'll always love you because of that reason.", he said, now looking at Jasper. Edward hated it when Bella started to complain about the way she didn't deserve him, and certainly didn't like the fact that Jasper apparently felt the same way about Alice.

"She won't stop forgiving just you like that", he finished, looking around. What happened to that woman the other day had clearly messed up what Jasper thought about himself. "What happened to that woman the other day... It's still bothering you, isn't it?", he asked. He didn't really want to bring up this subject, since he was afraid it would only make everything worse. But he saw no other way. Jasper had to stop punishing himself like that.

[Jasper Hale]

"It would help with the focus besides you can't truley and with the correct amount of dedication worry about everything at one time...you have to allow them to work in shifts," Jasper explained with a slight smirk as he allowed his eyes to travel across the meadow.

Jasper forced himself to look over at his brother as he tok in his tone and emotions when he addressed his words regarding Alice.

"She's just so perfect and sometimes I look at her Edward and I can't rightly figure out what she is doing with some as flawed as myself," Jasper tried to explain his voice low as his mind began to wander off in that direction. Jasper had allowed his eyes to become enraptured by the light clouds above head which didn't hold any rain till Edwards voice cared the cluster of words he had tried to stay away from. His thoguths immediately where drowned out by the woman's terrified scream of both pain and horror and the sight of her empty eyes staring back at him.

He knew it was pointless to lie to his brother and that made it even harder.

"I almost killed her Edward...she was dying and I decided I was going to play the death and help her along...I was going to murder a woman who I might have been able to help," Jasper replied his eyes tearing away from Edward not able to look at his brother.

[Edward Cullen]

"She's just so perfect and sometimes I look at her Edward and I can't rightly figure out what she is doing with some as flawed as myself"

Edward rolled his eyes at Jasper's comment. It was utterly amazing. When Bella wasn't the one claiming she didn't deserve him, Jasper took her place, saying he wasn't good enough for Alice. "Why won't you just believe in what we tell you, Jasper? You are good enough for Alice.", he replied. He was sure every single member of the Cullen family had already told him that, including Alice. Jasper should have gotten over it by now.

Edward looked at Jasper when a flood of bad memories filled his mind. He listened as Jasper told him how he almost killed the woman, and how he could have helped her but he didn't. "What do you want me to say? 'Yes, Jasper, you are a murderer, a monster.' Is that what you want to hear?", Edward was starting to get impatient, but he tried to calm down. He could hear Jasper's thoughts, and knew how hard this was for him. But yet, he couldn't think of anything to say that Alice hadn't said to him before. And if what Alice said to Jasper didn't work, it was highly unlikely that what Edward had to say would do any difference.

"Okay. Umm. Let's say... I saw a girl yesterday. She was almost hit by a car. But she wasn't." Edward said, trying to keep his tone calm and nice, "And you know what? The life of the man who was driving the car will still be the same, you know why? Because he almost hit the girl, but he didn't. He didn't kill her. And even if he had, it would be a complete accident. But it turns out that the girl tripped and fell into... the water, and then drowned herself. She died. But it wasn't the driver's fault." Edward was starting to realize how bad he was with metaphors. He couldn't even understand what he had just said.

"Okay, the metaphor didn't sound very good. But yet. The girl is the woman who died in her car. And you are the driver. You almost killed her. But you weren't the reason why she really died", Edward rolled his eyes "Gosh, does it make any sense? The point is, you didn't kill her. She died by herself."

[Jasper Hale]

Jasper could feel Edwards frusturation with him growing by the second and he really couldn't complain since he had told him to pick an emotion and stick with it. He wouldn't do a thing to change it either he merely sat in his spot on the grass his eyes glued to the grass of the meadow and listened to his brother's words.

"Because none of you truley can know what it is that lives in my mind...not even you Edward," Jasper replied as if the answer was the easiest conclusion to come to in the world.

"What do you want me to say? 'Yes, Jasper, you are a murderer, a monster.' Is that what you want to hear?"

In truth that was what he wanted to hear because it was what he believed to be the truth. He could feel Edward attempt to keep his calm but he could also feel his brother's anger and frusturation and it was that Jasper decided to feed off of as his eyes locked with his brother's.

"Yes Edward...because it's the truth," jasper replied his vocie low almost a growl as instead of a calm or pleasent emotion Jasper focused his eneergy on feelings of anger. He wanted to know, needed to know even under extreme anger what exactly Edward felt. His brother would tell him especially if he was angry he knew Edward wasn't himself when he was angry.

"Tell me what it is you fear about me? ... Because I know I fear that one day something will set me off and I'll murder the only girl you have ever loved the one person who has brought so much to our family and one day I worry that the compassion and love in Alice's eyes will turn to sickening hatred should my eyes eveer shift their hue to what they used to be," Jasper said his vocie low as his eyes burned back at Edward.

[Edward Cullen]

Edward could feel his frustration building inside of him as he heard Jasper's words. He wondered why Jasper wasn't doing anything to stop him from getting angry. His brother should already know that negative emotions didn't have a good repercussion on Edward's actions. So, why wasn't him doing anything?

Edward sighed when Jasper claimed that no one really knew what was inside his mind. He didn't know how to answer to that, so Edward decided to ignore his comment. Otherwise, he would start with the metaphors again, and it clearly hadn't worked.

Edward was starting to get annoyed. Not just because Jasper simply wouldn't stop believing he was some sort of monster, but because he was clearly not doing anything to keep Edward calmer. What was the whole point of having such a great talent if you won't use it when you need it? Edward had the tendency to overreact, but Jasper always did something so he wouldn't loose control.

"Tell me what it is you fear about me? ... Because I know I fear that one day something will set me off and I'll murder the only girl you have ever loved the one person who has brought so much to our family and one day I worry that the compassion and love in Alice's eyes will turn to sickening hatred should my eyes ever shift their hue to what they used to be"

"Jasper, will you just stop it?!", Edward shouted "This is seriously getting to my nerves. I'm not scared of you, for God's sake", he said. The feeling of yelling at Jasper felt extremely unfamiliar, since Edward never got that mad while he was around. "And, please. Bella has nothing to do with this", he said, then closed his eyes. If Jasper wouldn't help him to get calmer, Edward was going to do it by himself. Edward actually wanted to shout at Jasper some more. He knew that Alice said everything to him on her kind way, and it clearly hadn't worked. So, he wanted to be mean to him, to see if he would get the message.

The only problem was that Jasper's last statement about Bella did the damage he wanted. Edward had never really thought of such possibility, he couldn't picture Jasper murdering Bella. It wasn't like him. But if someday such thing hapenned... Who was Edward going to blame? He couldn't blame Jasper, and he couldn't blame Bella. It would be nobody's fault, it would be just a fatality. But still. Edward wouldn't like it at all. He tried to keep those thoughts out from his mind, hoping that, as he tried to get calmer, Jasper wouldn't notice the ingrowing fear inside of him.

[Jasper Hale]

Jasper's eyes widened slightly as Edward shouted back at him. This was definetly a new experience for the both of them as Jasper usually did well enough to keep all of the Cullens along with anyone else underwraps to avoid confrontations and the like but he didn't want Edward to hold back in this instance if anything a part of Jasper wanted his brother to lose it completely with him and let him know exactly what he thought and felt.

But at the time all Jasper could gain was the anger which was spurred on more so that Jasper wasn't helping Edward then anything else.

"Bella has everything to do with this Edward!" Jasper shouted back his own anger getting the best of him as he glared back at his brother.

"She is my one truley unforgivable...I could kill any other innocent all be it by accident or whatever else ya'll want to call it and we could all find a way to grow and move past it. But if I ever EVER harm her that is it Edward. I would never want to but if I did I would be done this would all be done and yet you expect me not to focus on it not to fear for it," Jasper said his vocie radiating with his own anger and frusturation.

Jasper watched for several moments as Edwrad struggeled to calm himself down but there was an emtoion in Edward which spurred Jasper it had been what he knew was there.

"You don't have to say a word to me to let me know I'm right...your fear gave you away," Jasper said his vocie a whisper as he closed his own eyes for a moment letting calmness travel Edward as his eyes snapped back to the grass of the meadow.

[Edward Cullen]

"Bella has everything to do with this Edward! She is my one truley unforgivable...I could kill any other innocent all be it by accident or whatever else ya'll want to call it and we could all find a way to grow and move past it. But if I ever EVER harm her that is it Edward. I would never want to but if I did I would be done this would all be done and yet you expect me not to focus on it not to fear for it"

Edward didn't quite know how to react. He hated the fact that Jasper was right, and he was going to have to deal with it. Edward just had no idea of how he would do it. After all, he couldn't just be scared of leaving Bella alone with Jasper. Not without making him feel bad about it. He found himself wanting all of this to be over. For one second, he considered the possibility of granting Bella's wish to become immortal. Of course, it didn't last. Edward couldn't spend his endless days thinking about how selfish he was, because he decided to turn Bella, taking away from her everything that was slightly human.

Edward opened his eyes slowly and tried not to look at Jasper when he suddenly started to feel calmer. He didn't know what to say. It was not like Jasper could read thoughts, but he knew how to interpreter emotions too well. The damage was done. Now, he wouldn't listen to Edward, he wouldn't believe him if he said Jasper wasn't a threat.

"I swear it's nothing personal, Jasper", Edward started, after a few moments. It seemed that Jasper would finally get what he wanted. The truth. Not that Edward had been lying all along - but he wasn't telling the whole truth either. "You see, I have a problem with the whole concept of Bella being turned. It doesn't matter who does it. I won't like it. But this is something I should just get used to. I should accept the fact that, sooner or later -- personally, I prefer later -- Bella's going to be turned. I can't help that", he said. It was true. Bella was just so convicted. And, regretfully, she wouldn't change her mind just like that.

"And, at this point, it doesn't really matter who would turn her" 'Not entirely true', Edward thought to himself. If Bella was going to be turned, he wanted her to be entirely sure of what she was doing. He didn't want someone to just bite her and drink her blood. But this last part wasn't worth to mention. Otherwise, it would just make everything worse.

"And I'm not really worried about the fact that you may... Umm, that you might... kill her", he added the last part with a little effort. "After all, you would stop as soon as you realized what you were doing. Wouldn't you?", Edward managed to ask that in a way he sounded sure that what he had stated was true. But there was a small part of him -- a stubborn part of him -- that still had some doubts, and was curious about Jasper's answer.